Monday, February 8, 2010

Unconditional Self Love - Be Your Own Valentine

Blog Carnival entry from Kylie - her blog Hyseria, is fabulous and full of really great posts that are both and fun and thought provoking.

I'm always confused by women who get depressed if they happen to be spending Valentine's Day without a date. Why?! I say, celebrate your singlehood! Be proud that you don't need to be attached to another half to feel whole! Be grateful that you have time to work on yourself and be as fabulous as you wanna be! Don't cry. Dance. Laugh. Love.

But this article isn't just for the single girls. Nope! Those of us in relationships forget to dish out the self lovin' too. In fact, sometimes even more so! When someone else is always telling us how pretty and smart and awesome we are, it's definitely nice, but we can sometimes learn to depend on those words, and that's not good. You've surely heard the old advice, "The most important relationship you'll ever have is the one you have with yourself." and it's true. So don't skimp on the inner romance!

Loving yourself is crucial to being happy. If you don't love yourself fully and unconditionally, you will not feel very deserving of happiness. If you don't love yourself, you will never understand how much you have to offer the world and it will all go to waste. I've said before that it is each person's responsibility to be the best person we can possibly be... In order to do this, we need to eliminate self-hate and make it our mission to fall in love with ourselves.

What's stopping you from loving yourself? Would you love yourself if you had more money? If you had a better body? If you had more friends? Say this out loud to yourself and you will realize how ridiculous this mindset really is. Would you ever say to your lover, "I will love you when you make more money." or "I will love you when you lose 10 pounds." Of course not! So it's unreasonable to set those kinds of conditions for yourself. You don't deserve that. Everyone needs love, and no one should have to jump through hoops to get it, especially not from themselves! There is nothing wrong with trying to better yourself, but restricting self love in order to do so is unhealthy, ineffective, and stupid. Don't subject yourself to that kind of torture! You can let the love flow and improve yourself at the same time.

Celebrate yourself
Everyone is different, yet everyone is equally deserving of love. Instead of trying to be someone you're not, celebrate the little things that make you unique. Don't paint your pale skin orange with self tanner, keep it looking fantastic by liberally applying SPF and moisturizer. Don't suffer your way through business school because your family wants you to when all you want to do is make art. Make the most of what you have, don't fight it.
Persons are judged to be great because of the positive qualities they possess, not because of the absence of faults.
See the beauty in others
When you look for beauty everywhere, it will be easier to see it in yourself. Practice makes perfect in all aspects of life, so the more you give love, the easier it will be to accept it. Make sure your family and friends know that you love them. Don't just think good things about people, tell them! No one ever tires of hearing wonderful things about themselves, so don't hold back! Making other people feel fantastic will make you feel fantastic and make your relationships blossom like crazy.

Cute out your living space
Make your house/apartment/bedroom/dorm as fabulous as possible. You should feel happy and peaceful immediately upon entering it. Your space should boost your mood and your creativity. Everyone has different preferences for how they want their home to be, but personally, my house and I get along best when I keep it clean, organized, bright, and colorful. I like flowers, pictures of people that I love, zero clutter, and fruit. Music is usually playing around here and I am pretty insane about making it smell good. I have a ridiculous stash of scented candles, insense, air fresheners and those little wax things that you put in a vaporizor that melt and smell lovely.

Do what you love to do
This might be the most important thing of all. Don't fill up your free time with television or facebook. These things have their place, but should not be a regular, major part of your lifestyle. Use your free time to do something you feel good about. Create somthing beautiful. Learn something new. Help others.

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