Friday, February 12, 2010
Women want all this, and not just on the 14th of February
Guest Post from the lovely Alexandra of The Tell Tale Blog
I'm not a fan of Valentine's Day. I don't really like candy, let alone the kitschy heart-shaped kind, wrapped in horrible pink paper, I don't like the red+pink combo, and I hate pre-made Hallmark cards featuring a teddy bear imploring whoever to be his Valentine. V-Day… to quote the endless fountain of wisdom that is Kramer, "frankly, it sounds made up". With the risk of sounding very cliché, lovers should celebrate their love every day and not just on the 14th of the second month in the Gregorian calendar.
I am aware that routine, a busy daily schedule, THE ECONOMY! (who doesn't blame the economy?) can make a guy feel… well… less inspired about how to show his love for his sweetheart. So guys, here's a mini-guide composed of things that just popped to mind meant to help you with better understanding your lady friend. So go on, give it a read and then proceed to being AWESOME!
Listen, be present, be involved!
Women and cats have at least one thing in common: the craving for attention. There's no denying it. All women need to be listened to, we all want at some point your whole, undivided attention. If a woman tells you this is not true, make no mistake, she is lying!
Fortunately for Y chromosome carriers, this I-wish-to-be-the-center-of-your-universe phase is not permanent. It usually comes around when we're feeling insecure, uncertain, under the weather or in need of someone to open our souls to.
If that happens, don't ignore us hoping it will go away. Take some time, make some tea and listen. It may be something as trivial as a stranger's spiteful remark that got to us, but it's important to know we can come to you for comfort.
Talking to our loved one induces that warm, fuzzy feeling of closeness and intimacy, something lacking in a chit-chat with our best female friend.
Most of the times "women talk" is not that hard to understand if you pay attention. Sometimes not even we know how to express what we want, but if you manage to read the signals your score just went up by 100 points! Morose doesn't mean PMS. It usually means "My day has been awful, I'd like to talk to someone". Now's the time to apply what you've learnt (see above).
If you like it, don't keep it to yourself, tell her! "You look really nice in that dress!", "Your hair smells amazing!", "You've got such sexy legs!" this is what I'm talking about. Compliments are Xanax without the side-effects.
You don't need a reason to give flowers
I remember one of the times I got flowers for no special reason, I was coming home from work and D was waiting for me at the tram station, with a big bouquet of white lilies. What better way to tell her that your thought flew back to her during the day than some lovely flowers? And what better thing to come home to than a smile and a hug from the man you love, offered together with some white lilies?
The chores are equally divided – she cooks, you do the dishes, she cleans the bedroom, you vacuum the the living room. It's perfectly cool that your relationship is not set in the 50s with the woman in the kitchen and the man reading the newspaper. But how about rewarding her for just being herself every once in a while? How about doing the laundry when it's not even laundry day? Or waking up early on Sunday morning and buying croissants for breakfast? Or preparing her a bath for when she comes back from work? Try it out and you'll see, another 100 points for you!
I am an adept of giving small presents not just when it's a special occasion. It doesn't have to be expensive presents, just something unexpected. This just boosts up the pleasure of receiving it. Take her out for dinner on a week day; go for a walk & an ice cream after work; get her the scarf she was admiring in the window; buy a poetry book by her favorite author, and send it to her by mail without mentioning anything about it; get tickets to the movie she's been dying to see; slip a note in her pocket with a nice quote to brighten up her day… The possibilities are endless.
There you have it! Although this was written having guys in mind as an audience, it can be used by chicks too. Yes ladies, go and tell your man how much you love him. Now excuse me while I go compliment D on his legs.